Blessing Story: God Didn’t Give Up On Me

Natascha had almost given up hope that she was meant to be happy…

It starts with the question of the vision. Why did I want to get Blessed? Growing up, I didn't have a lot of examples of [a Blessed marriage]. I lived in Europe for the first seven years of my life, then moved to the tiny country of Lebanon, in the Middle East. I grew up quite isolated. We were the only Unificationists in the whole country. My example for a Blessed marriage was mainly my parents. I love their relationship, especially their faith in God and living for others. They are very invested in taking care of people and I was attracted to that kind of life.

I was raised with a pretty strong faith, knowing that God is my parent, and He loves me. That was the basis for me wanting to get Blessed; wanting to continue this spiritual lineage that my parents started. My faith grew even more when I was able to spend time with other young Unificationists, in Germany and Austria when I was around 16, and at Cheongpyeong, a spiritual retreat in Korea, where I got to understand and study the Divine Principle with my peers. 

Through prayer, I felt that whenever God calls me, I'm ready to go to the Blessing. This was me at 20 years old. You might think, you were still pretty young and were you sure you were ready, but I just had this kind of faith. I didn't think very practically. I wanted to receive God's blessing. Just a few months later, there was an announcement that True Parents [an affectionate term for Rev. Moon and his wife, Dr. Moon] were going to match couples together. It turns out this was a few years before True Father passed away.

“Whenever God calls me, I'm ready to go.”

I only had a week or so to decide. I had made this commitment to God that I was ready, so I signed up and went to Korea. I did end up getting matched by True Parents at that time and received the Blessing within a couple of days of getting to know my partner. Unfortunately, although I came into this relationship with very strong faith, my partner did not. He was 19, and as it turns out, he was quite unprepared for what the Blessing really means; being able to accept anyone and having that faith in God. He started to tell me that he was doubting his faith. It was a very painful experience. After several months, he emailed me and said that he wanted to break it off.

That experience really hurt me, and I didn't want to accept it for a while. It was kind of a shock to me because I guess you can say I grew up a bit naive. Because I didn't grow up around other Unificationists, I didn't know that there were some people who were not as faithful as me. It sounds a bit silly. Maybe it's a human thing where you can't think from other people's perspectives so easily. You think other people think as you do. I was like, “How can somebody break this? It's the most important and precious thing.” It took me some time to get over that. It made me think, faith in God comes first, and if I go through this again, the first thing I'm going to ask them is “how is your faith in God?”

“Faith in God comes first.”

I took several years and focused on developing myself. I graduated from college and started my teaching job. I spent two years in Australia on a Unificationist gap year program, where I could develop myself a lot spiritually, and understand the Divine Principle [the core teachings of the Unification faith] more deeply. Also, it helped me gain a new appreciation for the Blessing.

At this point, I'm in my mid-20s, and my parents are actively looking [for a match]. I had a profile on a Unificationist matchmaking service. It was going a bit slow because my parents don't have so many contacts. I mean, they have to always look for people outside [of Lebanon] because there's nobody in the country. When you're not in a big community, you don't have so much support. But they still did their best. Especially my mom. She did a lot of prayer and made a lot of spiritual offerings for me. I joined her sometimes. 

“God's desire for us is to have a family. I wanted to fulfill that so badly.”

Eventually, I talked to a couple of people, but each time it ended with disappointment. It didn't work out and I lost a little bit of hope each time. Especially when one of them told me, “You're getting old, so if you don't accept me, you're probably not going to find anybody.” I was like, “If that's how it's gonna be, then I'd rather just stay single.” That was maybe harsh, but that was my stance because I had to be honest with myself. It wasn't so much the external stuff that mattered to me, like which country they're from because I was ready to learn a different language or adapt myself to different situations, but I still had certain values and characteristics that I wanted in my partner. I didn't want to compromise on certain things; that we share the same core values. That was important. 
There was this time period when I started to really struggle and think maybe I should just live by myself, and that's okay. I could serve God in other ways by being a missionary in Africa or I could have a different life. Maybe God doesn't mean for me to get married. It doesn't work out for everybody. I'm really tall. I'm like six feet tall. It’s gonna be really hard to find a tall guy for me. 

But I still wanted to try again. I still had this belief that God's desire for us is to have a family, and I wanted to fulfill that so badly. Thanks to keeping up that hope, it worked out. I can see now that God worked to find my husband for me.

“I can't believe how smoothly it went...This one just felt so right.”

My mom got in touch with a matching advisor [an intermediary who connects single Unificationists and families with each other], who brought us together. I'm so grateful to him. He shared Don's profile with my mom, and [our] parents started talking, and then we started talking. I can't believe how smoothly it went compared to all the previous experiences. This one just felt so right. Even though we can say I got Blessed at the relatively “late” age of 29, in the end, I'm so grateful because all of those experiences prepared me for this relationship. It's been over three years since we got blessed, but I still wake up in the morning and turn to my husband sometimes and say, “Wow, are you really my husband? Are we really Blessed?” I feel so lucky and I always have that gratitude. That means I can't get mad at him. We never fight. I don't know how it's possible for us to fight. 

“God didn't give up on me, and I didn't give up either.”

All these years taught me how to be patient and caring. God didn't give up on me, and I didn't give up either. I'm so grateful for that. Whatever your situation is, don't give up. God will find a way for you. He can work through anyone.

DON’S SIDE OF THE STORY COMING NEXT WEEK