Blessing Story: Hope Past Rejection
Investing your heart in someone is tough. Brian did it five times before finding his perfect match.
While Junghwa was reflecting on herself and considering if she was ready, I was needing some time to recover. I had been through a pretty tough intentional engagement communication before I met and talked to Junghwa, and needed to digest what happened. Basically, I got rejected. I had five intentional engagement experiences before I met Junghwa. Some were shorter, some longer. This experience before I met Junghwa was definitely longer and I invested a lot of myself into that person and into that family. So it was hard to let go.
After that, I told my parents that I didn’t want to talk to anybody and would let them know when I was ready to pursue another candidate. I think I even told them, if I talk to someone right now, I don't think I'm going to treat them very well at all. I'm not going to be very kind or patient. I needed time. And so my parents said, “Okay, well, let us know.”
“I want to have God and true love at the center of my marriage, my life.”
So I took that time to digest and reflect on who I wanted in a spouse. But more importantly, what do I have to offer? Oddly enough, I think during that time of reflecting and thinking back on all those experiences, I became more confident in myself. Especially that I have a strong faith. I want to have God and true love at the center of my marriage, my life.
What ended up happening while I was reflecting and recovering—my parents did not wait. They introduced Junghwa’s profile to me one night, and I was not happy. I didn’t read Junghwa’s profile right away. I don't quite remember exactly how long it was before I read it.
I have a distinct memory of my mom coming into my room one day and sitting on my bed and just talking with me about what happened with that previous intentional engagement experience, and helping me digest my feelings from it. My mom made a deliberate effort to really hear how I was doing. I definitely cried. I definitely had to digest that more, and that helped a lot.
Sometime after that, about a month later, I finally read Junghwa’s profile. She checked every single one of my boxes with flying colors. I think it's one of the benefits of having gone through five experiences before. I really felt this is exactly the person that my parents and I were looking for. Let's do this. So I reached out by email and we started talking.
“There's hope past rejection. You need to know your value, despite what other people think.”
There's hope past rejection. I was rejected a number of times. But I think it's an opportunity for you to figure out your value. You need to know your value, despite what other people think of you or do. Don’t go looking for a person to make you happy, but find a person that you can make happy. I knew that I made her happy, or for the most part. That's the biggest reason I said yes to Junghwa.
I know you hear it a lot but center yourself on God. You need to know that God exists. You need to know why you're going through this process. Do you really want to live this lifestyle? No matter what stage of life you're at, figure out if God is really at the center.
“No matter what stage of life you're at, figure out if God is really at the center.”
It felt like talking to an old friend. We talked about sex, finances, religion, and our personal faith. It's good to talk about those things. Honesty was integral for our communication to go smoothly.
“We talked about sex, finances, religion, and our personal faith.”
We made it a point to continue talking with each other. And at the end of those 21 days, we Skyped each other to decide if we wanted to be engaged. We did a countdown to give our answer at the same time. “3,2,1…Yes!”
I guess that's our story. And now it's just hunky dory.
